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sleep continued [Jun. 18th, 2008|03:15 am]
[Current Location |patio]
[mood | restless]
[music |sound of cars driving by]

another night up till crazy hours of the morning. how weird. sometimes sleep would be nice. oh well, hopefully by next tuesday i will get back onto a good circadian rhythm cycle.

i am hoping to be able to sleep at a reasonable hour tomorrow! we shall see!
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[Jun. 17th, 2008|03:58 am]
[Current Location |Patio]
[mood | restless]
[music |sound of sprinklers]

another sleepless night. geez nights like these really make the next day hard to handle. we shall see how functioning i am tomorrow whenever i do manage to wake up. bwah!

my on-line class, up north, started today and boy and i not ready to be going back to school! ::frown::
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sleep? [Jun. 13th, 2008|06:03 am]
[Current Location |comfy couch]
[mood |awake]
[music |forever - chris brown]

sleepless night day 2.

two nights ago (tuesday) I was up until around 3ish

one night ago (wednesday) I was up until 2ish

and last night/today I am still up and it is 6:04 am.

this is not a good start to my five day (now two day) summer vacation.

bwah!
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home at last [May. 28th, 2008|06:06 pm]
[Current Location |comfy couch]
[mood | distressed]
[music |stay now - jem]

Yay! Home at last! It's been a whole fives days since I have been home again. Last weekend was a pretty long weekend and it wasn't as much as a vacation as I would like. The weekend ended with one very long day (monday) and continued with two very low energy days. I am still feeling a bit fatigued and my body hurts.

Two more days of school this week and then I can hopefully have a relaxing weekend (saturday is looking pretty good for that). I am feeling so very lazy today and yet have quite a bit of things to do around the house.

Errr! I wish my stomach would stop hurting and my body would stop breaking down. I feel so broken...

Finals need to end so I can spend some of my vacation at my place of tranquility. Yay for my vacation spot of peace! Cannot wait! Woo!
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check list [May. 23rd, 2008|08:41 am]
[Current Location |Comfy Couch]
[mood | blah]
[music |Amnesia - Cherish]

Stay up to a ridiculous hour. (check, 4 a.m. should count!)

Missing him. (check)

Take part to of mid-term. (check, around 11)

Road-Trip to Norcal. (check, around 12ish I think)

Try not to lose it. (?)
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[May. 22nd, 2008|06:10 pm]
[Current Location |Comfy Couch]
[mood | annoyed]
[music |Wii Fit Music]

Wow can the advisors at UCI be any more stupid? Errr... Oh well. Another day another dollar (that they get)!
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[May. 21st, 2008|12:20 pm]
[Current Location |Comfy Couch]
[mood | tired]
[music |Call Me Crazy - Neyo]

I am so tired! This last month or so has really done its toll on my sleep wise. Bwah! I want to sleep longer than 5 hours straight!

Quite a few people have mentioned my weight as an issue. It is kind of weird to have people so concerned with my difference in weight. You would almost thing that something is wrong with me. Am just not as hungry as I use to be.

나는 많이 보고십어요! 나는 사랑을 마이크!
나는 피건하고 자요! 마이크 씨는 많이 사랑해요!
당신은 나의 사랑이다! 감사합니다 마이크!
당신의 사랑을 당신을 감사하십시오.

Muah ha ha!
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[May. 20th, 2008|01:10 pm]
[Current Location |Comfy Couch]
[mood | blah]
[music |You Are - Estelle]

I wish school wasn't so friggin' expensive! I have to register for 15-19 units (depending on how quick I want to pull my hair out), for next fall tomorrow night. : (
I am also taking 8 units this summer at UCI and 3 units at SCC. Errr...

Really saddening! At least I get to have a nice crab dinner on the Fisherman's Wharf! Yay! I am going to be trekking through my old neck of the woods! Should be interesting... I wonder how much the city has changed since I lived in norcal. Can't move too much tho, it is a really packed city!

I am tired and I am wanting to have unlimited gas money for life! Muah ha ha!
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[May. 19th, 2008|04:47 pm]
[Current Location |Comfy Couch]
[mood | bouncy]
[music |Linger - Cranberries]

Woo Hoo! No more work (I just got off of work too)! Well not really woo hoo because then I do not have an income. ahhh.. the laziness! 2 more weeks until the quarter is over. a week break and then a 10 unit summer session! Boo! I am taking to classes at UCI and one class at my old community college up north... thank goodness for on-line education!

I am tired and do not really feel like driving this evening... blah! at least when I get to my destination I get to take a nap! I hope the house is not as hot as it is outside. I was actually happy to be naked at work today because I was not as hot as the students! Muah ha ha!!

For some weird reason I have had, "i don't want to grow up, cuz I'm a Toys R' Us kid. There are *something something* that I can play with. From *something something* to video games..." It is weird, but then again so am I.
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interesting day today [May. 14th, 2008|07:14 pm]
[Current Location |comfy couch]
[mood | irritated]
[music |forever - chris brown]

Wow! One of my jobs today got canceled last minute today. That sucked pretty bad!

A friend of mine decided to be a complete shit and call me an asshole and accuse me of being judgmental. wtf?! I did not accuse her of being judgmental when she attacked me for my relationship and job choice. Why is it that the one time that I decide to voice a disapproval of her job choices that she flips out and starts calling me a judgmental asshole? errr! That is not a good way to keep me communicating with her. I told her she needs to stop using profanity towards me and to stop acting five. Then she decided to throw in the not everyone is smart and can go to school like you. wtf ever! errr! That was so irritating!

Just need to breath. At least I got to vent on the phone earlier and just to get the last bit of irritation out of my system I decided to type a short post on my disbelief of the situation. It really does suck when people you care about decide to be pieces of shit! Oh well, what can you do?

I wish it was next week already and possibly even next weekend! I am kinda looking forward to going home to norcal but I am not sure. I think I might need a ride from the city but since I don't exactly know the plans I don't know what is going to happen.

I miss. I love. I care. I hope I am loved, missed, and cared about in return.
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hmmm.. [May. 12th, 2008|10:26 pm]
[Current Location |comfy couch and a leg]
[mood | bouncy]
[music |is it you - cassie]

i am so glad that i am doing much better now. i am kinda sleeping again and actually wanted to cook dinner... how weird.

thank you for being so understanding. i am glad that communication is a big part of my life now. thank to my wonderful companions this weekend. you two helped me so much! cannot wait to spend my next weekend with you two. sister dear...i love you and thank you so much for just listening to me and not trying to fix me!

work is almost over and so is the quarter. thank bob! no time to relax because i have to start the summer session soon. maybe i will get to spend some of my vacation with the people i love. we shall see how that all works out!

yay for being able to deal with my issues, kinda. maybe one day i will be able to deal with all of this shit! one damn day at a time tho!

*Guest entry by MikePett...

I got new tires today!

Oh yea, and I love Richelle. She cooked me dinner and offered me her friend but I turned her down.. Just kidding (about the offer)!

I think that i might finish the sweater I am knitting in the next couple of weeks.

Richelle is so pretty.

That is all!*
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... [May. 10th, 2008|10:23 am]
[Current Location |Sister's House]
[mood | distressed]
[music |You Are - Estelle]

flow temple is awesome to go to. unfortunately my head has not recovered from the space it is in and i did not sleep well last night. ::frown::

i do not know if i can handle the details of this! it is hard and i honestly do not know what to do. to have something a little (and try to make the best of it) or not have it at all (and be miserable because the knowledge of what was had would be too painful).

i love this gloomy weather! it reminds me of home and the nice refreshing rain. i wish it would rain tomorrow so i can sit on my patio and watch the rain fall like i use to. maybe if i am lucky i will get something along those lines tomorrow.

once a week is not as much as i though it would be. why do i think i should get more? why am i so reluctant to actually communicate this thing in my head? oh wait... i know why... and damn it that is a stoopid reason!!

don't mind my rambling. it comes and goes. and it would seem that this week there is quite a bit of it! ::frown::
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[May. 8th, 2008|09:37 pm]
[Current Location |comfy couch]
[mood | blah]
[music |"The Tudors" on Showtime]

damn this free time thinking topic! damn this topic thinking when busy! i just need to try and stop thinking of this! errr!

my korean talent show thing was pretty awesome! it was interesting to see how many people are actually taking korean as a language. it was nice to eat and hang out with my class mates and watch people sing horribly, sing well, and dance cute! it was an interesting little extra credit event.
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[May. 8th, 2008|01:33 pm]
[Current Location |comfy couch]
[mood | amused]
[music |stay this - kaskade]

Woo! Work is so interesting!!
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[May. 6th, 2008|10:44 am]
[Current Location |Place of Tranquility]
[mood | amused]
[music |Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap]

yesterday at work I was told that I was inspirational by couple people and got complimented on how well I model. yay! that was such a big help since it was only my second time working and modeling by myself. am still a bit nervous for the painting class that I possibly might do tomorrow but the compliments I received yesterday should help!

yay for being inspirational and what not! woo!! but.. i still don't want to work!
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[May. 5th, 2008|11:24 am]
[Current Location |comfy couch]
[mood | sad]
[music |all cried out - allure]

i feel like i am in an awkward position and i really don't want to go to work!

oh well, gotta make money and try not to think too much. emotional outbursts while modeling are probably not recommended!

so much driving today too! ahh... this is going to be a long miserable day (which will add on to my long last 2 weeks) is this an energetically emotional time? i wonder what is going on!
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[May. 1st, 2008|10:07 pm]
[Current Location |comfy couch]
[mood | relieved]
[music |damages - plumb]

i am finally able to deal with what is going on and got it out in the open. geez, i feel quite a bit better today. it was nice to be able to vent and cry and just work out what i'm feeling so i can communicate those feelings better to the person who hurt me.

i am not quite better but i am feeling more like a person and less like a numb mess of emotions. it has been a really tough week of emotions and i am glad that i am slowly going back to normal. i am tired and am finally ready to smoke. i have been so upset that i haven't even wanted to smoke. how weird is that?

blah blah blah
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[May. 1st, 2008|12:56 pm]
[Current Location |comfy couch]
[mood | indifferent]

getting sculpted in clay is pretty cool. other than being nervous it was interesting.
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sleep? mid-terms? ha! [Apr. 24th, 2008|08:08 am]
[Current Location |Comfy Couch]
[mood | worried]
[music |Wink of an Eye - Kaskade]

it started out at a little worry. and has slightly turned into paranoia. am trying to stay cool but it is a bit hard. have a mid-term today and i cannot get this little worry out of my head. that is why i slept for five hours and now have to study for another two before my mid-term.

yay school! yay worry that started out little. sometimes i think i am a big dork and have no clue what is going on! just gotta keep moving forward. one day at a time.
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I am [Apr. 22nd, 2008|10:51 pm]
[Current Location |Comfy Couch]
[mood | thoughtful]
[music |Falling For You - Jem]

I am tired. I am loved. I love. I am missing. I hope I'm missed. And damn it I am hungry! Bwah ha ha!!
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